You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
