no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
