If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
