I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
