Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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