My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just sucked dick on a ferry
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
