You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
