you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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