bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
