is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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