Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
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