I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
