We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
