Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
