I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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