There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
