I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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