yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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