Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
