so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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