I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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