Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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