____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
