She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
