I saw his package. It spoke to me.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
