I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
