Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
