I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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