gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
