So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
