Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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