I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
