I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
