dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
