Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
