Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
