Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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