drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
