is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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