Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
