is your mom at the bar?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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