What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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