we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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