I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
