Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
