Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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