Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
