UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
