i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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