OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
