An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
