I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
