I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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